*photo by Christart.comI thought I wouldn't have to cross this bridge for at least a couple more years. I'm not sure that I am all that prepared. It's amazing the different emotions I am going through and it's only been 6 hours. You see, my daughter was invited to the beach for the weekend and as much as I know I can't hold on to her forever, I thought I had more time. So far, it's not like she hasn't been gone for this length of time. She just hasn't been gone with the intention of staying overnight two nights in a row. I want her to grow up independent of me and at the same time, this is my precious "little girl". I'm a mess.
So I've been going through the "process". The threshold of the teenage years is on the horizon. This is the stage in her life when my role as parent changes to parent that advises and not much more. I ask the Lord if I've taught her well. Then my mind floods with all of the "what if's". What if I haven't taught her enough from the Word. What if I haven't walked the walk in front of her properly. What if I haven't spent enough time preparing her for the real world and given her the proper tools to be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might. It's an overwhelming responsibility and now I'm second-guessing her entire upbringing. All because she really wanted to spend the weekend at the beach and have her "time alone away from" me.
I remind myself by reminding the Lord that she is first His daughter and remind Him that He is to take care of her. I have to let Him. I have to let Him. (This is not repeated by accident.) All the folks I've asked to keep notes for me as their children walked through the teenage years didn't take me seriously. I have none of their notes because they didn't take any. I did find a reference in the Bible when Jesus was out of Joseph and Mary's site and how they went looking for Him. (I wonder if they went through the same emotions.) I think that they knew He was God's Son and must have reminded Him of the very things I reminded Him about with mine. It helped because I didn't feel so "sheepish" even though "sheepish" I am. Parenthood! It's bittersweet isn't it?
Oh my..... Reading this brought back a flood of memories about my boys.... I am sure that it is so different with a daughter but the principle is the same.. Raise up a child the way they should go..... It is hard to let go and give them over to the hand of God but The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much. ...! You have had hands on and raised her with faith in God.. You have given her the tools of life and now you cover her with prayer and the blood of Christ and be on your face before the Father God and know that HE is watching.
ReplyDeleteTough days for the heart of a mother.....
Praying for you, and your precious daughter.
ReplyDeleteOh yeah, do I remember. Amy went on a Jr High camp over a weekend. It was her first time and she was texting me every 1/2 hour. I am not sure who was more homesick...her or I...she will be fine and so will you...trust that she has learned from you and the Lord.
ReplyDeleteOh to have the wisdom always without doubts about how to let our children fly yet not set them free before they are ready. You are not alone. Blessings!
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