Bullied!

*photo by Christart.com

Webster's defines bullied as "Frightened into submission or compliance." It makes sense doesn't it. I truly love words but whenever I look up their definitions, I love them even more. I've been pondering bullies and being bullied lately. In my pondering, I can now put my finger on things in my life that I haven't been able to before. According to Webster's definition, I have been bullied a lot in my life.

I never got to the point where I wanted to hurt anyone as a result though and I attribute that to the Grace of God. I have, however, wanted to hurt myself physically for the emotional bullying I've received. (Okay, that was in the past; it's not my present thinking.) I think those who do the bullying are tormented in themselves. However, it's not always from insecurity. Often times, I believe, it's from pride. It seems to me that they get some sort of satisfaction in feeding their ego at the expense of another's well being. Any way you slice it--pride and/or insecurity--it's demonic, oppressive, suppressive and just plain mean! '

My daughter and I discussed some of the events that took place in my childhood and it was enlightening to hear how she would have handled the situation if she found herself in those same circumstances. She would soon put the bully in his/her place as she would have none of that. I'm thankful for that. I can't say for certain but I think she's that way because she knows what real love is and how it feels to be loved. She can recognize a counterfeit to love a mile and more away.
I admire her courage and was thankful that she is taught of the Lord. She's very strong in character and I appreciate that about her.

I began to wish that I was that way with my bullies when I was growing up and even into my adult years and I began to regress for a while. What I find the most interesting about all of these ponderings lately is because now that I'm working on not stuffing my emotions away with food, these feelings come to the surface. I am and I'm not looking forward to having to deal with more emotions that have been stuffed way down deep inside but I have to tell you for certain...I am soooo looking forward to the physical weight loss too.